Monday, April 26, 2010

What happens to Daddy's girls when Daddy is gone?


I lost my father at 27 years old, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him. Some days it is too much to bear. Today is one of those days. When I was often irrational, troubled, or just needed a pep talk he was always there to issue the appropriate stimuli( a pep talk, a kick in the pants, a loan, a hug, advice often unsolicited).

If a pep talk was needed, I got one. Today I need a pep talk. Today I need a hug. Today I need my dad. I could hug my better half, but I don't want to. I don't want to feel weak. I don't want to talk about why. I just want my daddy. Its been almost seven years, and you would think the feeling would dissipate, but it doesn't.

I need to talk to the one man in the world that only wants the best for me. The one person that understands my motives, my needs, and my quirks.. Simply because many of them were his own. Someone with the benefit of experience that I don't have. I've got some pressing things on my mind, and I wish I could talk to him now. Come to think of it, I just wish I could hear his voice again, not ask one solitary question.

How do I cope? There is no one to take his place, and no one to fill his role. There isn't a close substitute. What's a girl to do? Curl up on my couch with my blanket and my memories. Cry a little and suck it up. Cause that is what daddy would want me to do.

6 comments:

AndreaM said...

I won't say tht I know how you feel, that loss has not been mine just yet. I can appreciate wanting the unconditional-ness of a father's love. Sometimes you just need that!
Your Daddy loves you, I'm so sorry he can't tell you that himself. And I know he's proud!

Sister girl {{hugs}} to you

Rae said...

Your Father must have been a special man. I am both happy and sad for you all at the same time.. I have never known a fathers love.. You were one blessed woman.. I wish he was here for you too... Thanks for sharing...

Smooches....

rorysmomma said...

Thanks so much for your wonderful comments ladies.... He was special and a character and just sooo strong. Rae, he was even a father to those who didn't have one active in their lives, the running family joke is that he was everyone's daddy.

Andrea hugs right back at ya!

Mrs. Tenkely said...

May you be filled with all of the amazing memories of you father and feel his comfort surround you. I agree with Rae, what a blessing that you know the love of such a great father. Virtual hugs to you.

LoganO_Kellam1 said...

A friend to everybody is a friend to nobody.

勳谷 said...

Circumstances are the rulers of the weak, instrument of the wise. ....................................................

Education

Loading...