Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Are your children Smarter than you?

I look at my children and I realize one thing. These kids are smart as hell, and I better bring my A game because these children of mine are ever-evolving. They are building them bigger and smarter. My four year old needs to be Gilbert Arenas' attorney. She finds ways to talk herself out of almost anything. The logic is sound and she is very analytical. She is smart and precocious.

So how do you discipline smart and precocious? Very creatively. Case in point. She misbehaved at school and refused to do her schoolwork. She knows that the consequence for not doing work is a spanking. When asked what her punishment was she responded a spanking, but before the spanking she asked for a "reduced" sentence. I.E. less licks and make sure they aren't hard. Now mind you she did the negotiation after doing several really good things in succession (bargaining). Her dad and I still followed through with the punishment, but he was more lenient than he planned because she negotiated her own plea bargain. I am smart enough to know that traditional punishments are not gonna work.

My aunt says, you shouldn't have spanked her because she negotiated her on punishment. That is behavior to be applauded. I told her I have to keep my promises to my child because she will think she can talk her way out of anything ( see Gilbert Arenas). I don't know if I am doing the right thing, but I know I gotta mean what I say and say what I mean. To all you parents out there: Good luck. I know I am gonna need some.


Mrs. Pilker said...

my two are smart as whips, too! I lol'ed when I read your post- I'm always saying my 6 year old should be a lawyer when she grows up.

In our house, we don't use spanking, but our consequence is a time-out or a loss of item or privilege. And since there are so many gray areas it is tough to stay consistent.

I would not "commute a sentence" for good arguing, though- it teaches them to argue with you more! What I try to do is, once I've said "no", I don't budge unless there is a VERY good reason- if I made a mistake or judged too quickly without having all the facts. Instead, I often say "I will think about this and let you know what I decide." Then I don't have to do any backpedaling.

Good Luck!

Mrs. Tenkely said...

Stand your ground, they can smell fear and indecision from a mile away and will use it to their advantage!